CHAPTER 4 - CAN WE HAVE OUR SUMMER NOW PLEASE? (JULY)

 Thursday 2nd July

Cheatington (away) Dormouse Cup (round 2)

As we enter the rare territory of round 2 of the Dormouse Cup, I am starting to feel a little bit more confident about how Chip Goat might fair in this competition.  After the first round all games are played at the nearby club ground of Stockley, so it’s our chance to sample the delights of a better ground and superior facilities.  That said they usually play these games on wickets on one extreme side of the cricket square so you are about thirty yards from the boundary edge at one side and about three hundred yards away on the other side.  Our opposition are Cheatington again, proving the old adage that cricket teams are a bit like buses.  We beat them fairly comfortably in the Cheatington Cup so I am hopeful that a repeat performance might be the order of the day.

It is pleasant evening for a change and on winning the toss I decide to bat first.  In the absence of Mark I open with Brian and myself, although this was not really what I intended.  I had asked Richard to open with me with Brian batting at number 3, although this seemed to have been misunderstood  and with Brian already marching out to the wicket, I decide not to upset the apple cart and let Brian open.

We get off to a flying start as I take nine of the first over and then Brian really gets going.  The ball starts disappearing to all parts of the ground. 

Some splendid shots for four are followed by a couple of enormous sixes.  Brian is taking their bowling apart. Cheatington change their bowlers and bring on a guest ‘Aussie’ they have drafted in to bolster their side.  It does the trick as he dismisses Brian with a good delivery for a blistering 36 runs.  I of course take the credit for the decision to open with Brian and later deny any cock-up with the batting order.  Everything was planned to perfection.

The ginger magician soon follows disappearing in a puff of smoke for a duck.  Dave and Roary miss out and the pace of the innings soon slows.  After playing a couple of nice shots off my legs off our Australian friend, I fall for 26 caught in the covers.  We huff and puff and play a few decent shots, although the final score of 114-7 was probably twenty short of what it should have been.

I am still very confident as I know Cheatington’s batting is weak.  Much to Roary’s disgust I open the bowling with Fiery and ‘special guest star (appearing for one night only) Mike’.  They both bowl brilliantly and the Cheatington innings is soon in tatters.  After a dozen overs they are 25-7, with Fiery taking 4 wickets and Mike 3 wickets.  The game would have probably been over at that point but for Roary’s inability to catch the ball.  Old butter fingers drops three catches and I think he was so out of sorts he would still have dropped them if he had used a bucket.  I change the bowling to give Roary and Kevin a go and Cheatington meander to an eventual finish of 60-8 after their allotted 22 overs. 

My main disappointment was that the Cheatington number eleven did not get a bat.  He was a definite ‘lookalike’ for Ken Morley (Reg Holdsworth for those of you familiar with your Coronation Street).  I wondered whether there was life after the Street or whether you become consigned to pantomime and double glazing adverts forever.  Anyway I Richard Digance, another excellent win as we march on to the semi-final of the Dormouse Cup.

Result:  Won

Pitch Marking:            8 out of 10 - The joy of batting on a club ground. 

Saturday 4th July

Ingleton Greenhouse (away)

Thanks to the Argy Bargies knocking England out of the world cup, there are no conflict of loyalties.  Our Langton league fixture could have been clashing with England’s appearance in the world cup quarter finals, sadly all with have to worry about is trying to win our next cricket fixture. Ingleton Greenhouse are a classic village team packed full of wily campaigners and village characters.  In twenty years there have been few changes to their team and they rely on the same half a dozen cricketers to do the business for them with one or two useful youngsters.   

The first Saturday in July is dry and humid and we should get a decent day’s cricket for a change.  I win the toss and after a wary glance at the green wicket I decide to field first.  I open with Roary and Fiery and despite some dropped catches and poor fielding we soon take some early wickets.  I injury myself trying to produce an unlikely run out as I land heavily on my ribs.  After starting to breathe again after about five seconds, I find wicket-keeping difficult as my mobility is seriously affected.  My team-mates are suitably unsympathetic as sportsman generally are in times of painful injury.  I struggle on and despite our poor fielding we reduce Ingleton Greenhouse to 80-7 with still about 15 overs left.

I persist with Roary and Fiery as they have both bowled well under humid conditions.  The Ingleton tail hangs on with luck and some defiance and eventually I am forced to despatch Roary swearing and kicking the ground to the boundary edge as I give Max a go.  Max felt his call to the bowling crease had been delayed too long, whilst Roary was totally indignant about being taken out of the bowling attack.  It was one of those situations the skipper just can’t win.

Ingleton take us to the last over before we eventually bowl them out for 118.  Roary finishes with 5-49  and Fiery bowled throughout the innings for a very economical 4- 36.  The final score is disappointing, although we still have a good chance.  The fielding was poor and so was my wicket-keeping.  Despite my injury and the unpredictability of the bounce of the wicket, it was my worse display ever for Chip Goat.  I conceded far too many byes and my only consolation was that I did achieve a legside stumping off my pads.  Another blatant stumping was turned down by the umpire.  Not my day or so I think.

At tea everybody is down, we feel we have let them off the hook.  I try to be positive as after all it is still a fairly low score with a fast outfield.  We set off in reply and immediately Mark and myself go on the defensive as Ingleton bowl accurately.  Ingleton have a wily leg spinner bowling into Roary’s footmarks and he is causing us some problems.  The lesser spotted leg spinner is indeed a rare breed and most village cricketers haven’t got a clue how to play an off spinner never mind a leg spinner.  The majority of village cricketers will see the introduction of a spinner as a reason to look up to the heavens and try launching as many balls as possible into the next field.  A clever spinner will simply ring the boundary and wait for the wickets to fall into his lap.

In the end I depart LBW for 8 as I misread the artful spinner.  Mark soon follows caught behind.  Wickets tumble as the run rate increases.  Richard bats well for 18 but everybody else struggles.  We are eight wickets down for 80 and only 8 overs left.  We look to have thrown away another victory.  George goes in and hits a quickfire 11 but when he is out, we still need another 28 for victory.

Berkeley and Kevin are our last hope and they play some sensible cricket.  We inch closer thanks to one or two good shots and some gift byes.  I was glad to see the Ingleton keeper was struggling just as much as I had.  In the penultimate over, Berkeley pulls the ball to the square leg boundary straight into the hands of a fielder.  Our dismay turns to cheers when the fielder inexplicably not only drops the ball but throws it over the boundary edge for six.  A six by Berkeley is not what we expected, indeed it is almost as unlikely as me depositing a six in the nearest corn field.

Incredibly we approach the last over needing only eight to win.  Berkeley takes a single of the first ball and then Kevin misses the second ball despite receiving plenty of advice from the boundary edge.  The third ball is despatched majestically through the covers for four.  Was this really Kevin batting?  Kevin takes another single and we then need two runs from two balls.  Berkeley hardly gets the ball away from his feet but Kevin comes charging down the wicket.  As Berkeley makes ground up the wicket it looks like he is going to be out by miles as the wicket-keeper shapes to throw to the bowlers end.  As the wicket-keeper launches a missile like throw down the wicket, for the second time in two weeks Berkeley is again ‘sconed’ by the cricket ball.  His head deflects the ball away and we complete the single to tie the match. We duly complete a single off the last ball to win the game by one wicket.  Berkeley leaves the field dazed and confused but definitely a hero.  Kevin is too as we pinch an unlikely victory.  Ingleton Greenhouse look shell shocked as they leave the field.  We played very poorly in this game at times but somehow we managed to get out of jail free thanks to Kevin and Berkeley.  

This victory was certainly papering over the cracks of a poor performance.  In days gone by Chip Goat would certainly have lost such a game, however, these are no grounds to be complacent.  Team-mates are critical of the slow starts Chip Goat are getting.  I have some sympathy, as at times there has been more entertainment watching televised coverage of a finance bill in the House of Lords.

I am reluctant to change the batting order as I think the easiest way to lose a game is to give early wickets away.  Mark and myself are the club’s most consistent batsmen and I feel we should be given the maximum amount of time to build an innings.  Team-mates don’t agree with me and feel I could soon be hung at dawn if I don’t change my tactics.  The ironic thing is we won the game. What treats do I have in store for me next time we lose!  Who would be a captain?

Result:  Won

Pitch Marking:            6 out of 10 - the wicket was green and had plenty in it for the bowlers, although the bounce was fairly true.

Tea Marking:            7 out of 10.

Sunday 5th July

West Parsley (away) Idiotson cup (round 1)

This is the league’s fun competition.  Cricket played by six cricketers only.  Just like a typical Chip Goat fixture you might think.  Each side has eight overs with no bowler able to bowl more than two overs.  Each fielder having to run around like a demented madman to cover a quarter of the field.  This is problematic for Chip Goat as the average age of the side is approaching 50 and swift fielders there are few.  I am still injured following Saturday so Mark takes over at the helm for this one.  Don’t be beam me up for this game Scotty thank you very much.  West Parsley don’t take the game particularly seriously either, adopting a ‘titanic’ policy of deciding to play their women and children first.  It makes for an easy victory for Chip Goat as we bowl West Parsley out for 46.  Brian and Roary knock the runs off without any fuss.

Result:  Won

Saturday 11th July

Great Smeghead (away)

We reach the midpoint of the league season in reasonable shape, although we could certainly do with some consecutive victories to establish ourselves in the top half of the table.  We are still not performing to the best of our ability.  Great Smeghead have had a good first half to the season and will be confident of beating us.

On the eve of the match, selection is complicated as Brian, Mike, Dave and Mark all declare their unavailability.  Gentleman farmer Brian is unavailable as he has a luncheon engagement with ‘Tory Boy’ PM elect (not) William Hague.  Mike was making arrangements for the arrival of his pheasants and couldn’t possibly take time off to play cricket.  I understand the technical phrase is preparing the habitat although in layman’s language I think this means making their nests nice and cosy before they get their heads blown off.  Dave has injured his back and could hardly walk. Mark announces that he broke his finger the previous week playing cricket.  Please see earlier comments on Mark and illness/injury.  When Mark arrives at the ground it transpires he has not been to hospital but he thinks it might be broken and he has put on it a do it yourself style bandage which looks about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.  He can’t be persuaded to play.  It was perhaps a sensible decision as Mark bats in gloves that afford about as much protection as a pair of gardening gloves and we all knew he would  have been hit on his injured finger first ball if he played.

We eventually scratch around and get eleven players as Budgie makes his second appearance of the summer.  He will of course be doing his usual white rabbit routine as he agrees to turn up late.  Frank is also very late and on losing the toss I am relieved to find they put us into to bat on a hot, dry, sunny day.

I opt for an all family opening partnership as I open with Richard and myself.  Great Smeghead bowl quite well but their field placings are a bit too attack minded and they give us some easy runs early on.  Richard has some hairy moments as the ball flies about in the air, although generally he plays some good shots.   We start to dominate the bowling and soar pass the fifty mark.  At the twenty over stage we are 80 for no wicket and Richard has achieved a well made fifty.  At the drinks break I try to keep him under control but he is starting to see the glory of a century now and every ball has to disappear to the boundary.  The bounce of the wicket is becoming a bit more variable and eventually Richard is bowled for 59 with his head up in the air.  The opening partnership was worth 97.  The best yet for Chip Goat this season.

After the opening partnership normal Chip Goat service is resumed.  We lose wickets regularly to one of Great Smeghead’s change bowlers.  He bowls slowly on to a good line and length and we struggle to dominate him.  I charge him in the end and am stumped for 48 as I don’t have the energy on a hot day to make it back to my crease.  Fiery bats well for a belligerent 33 including the only six of the innings before he is stumped.  Max is also stumped and Frank, Kevin and Berkeley run themselves out in pursuit of quick runs.  We don’t even last the forty overs, as we subside to 173 all out with a couple of balls left.  A good score but we should have been capable of making 190 or even the dizzy heights of 200.

After one of the smallest cricket teas in the history of cricket teas, Great Smeghead set off in reply and Fiery and Roary bowl very tightly.  I am soon in the thick of the action as a I take a one handed catch to dismiss one opener and a running catch to dismiss the other opener.  I pick up a third victim off Roary as Great Smeghead start to fold.  As Roary tires I bring on Max who responds with a brilliant bowling display.  He is, however, having problems no-balling and as Max goes red in the face a heated exchange takes place with the umpire.  Max nearly blows a gasket when he bowls a batsman off another no-ball.  It all comes right in the end as Max finishes with a fantastic 4-8.  Roary takes 3 wickets and Fiery another 3 wickets as Great Smeghead capitulate to a tame 91 all out.  I finish with four victims behind the stumps, which is a career best for me.  We are overjoyed to achieve another victory, particularly as we were short of some of our best players.

We decamp to the nearest public house for a spot of gloating and for once everybody seems happy and content.  Nobody complaining about slow scoring today!

Result:  Won

Pitch Marking:            5 out of 10 - Chip Goat certainly got the best of this pitch as it had deteriorated badly by the time Great Smeghead batted.  Serves them right for serving up a lousy tea.

Tea Marking:            2 out of 10 -  A very poor effort.

Saturday 18th July

Scrufton (home)

So far Scrufton’s only victory this season has come against Chip Goat.  It really was a bad game for us to lose, however, our season has certainly picked up since then whilst Scrufton’s fortunes have waned dramatically.

The game against Scrufton is our first home league match we have played since 30th May.

On arrival at Chip Goat I discover our ‘groundsman’ has prepared another one of his ‘special’ pitches.  The pitch is wet and there is far too much grass on it.  On winning the toss I panic and decide to field first as I  would like to see how this minefield of a cricket pitch behaves.  Surprisingly Scrufton cope fairly well as Roary, Max and Fiery are all off target.  It’s only when I bring on Roger that the wickets start to fall.  By this time the first four Scrufton batsman have all made useful scores.  In true Chip Goat fashion we wrap up the Scrufton middle order and tail in double quick time after the damage has been done.  Roger takes 5-17 as Scrufton are bowled out for 162.  We are all very disappointed.

In the pavilion the cricketing recriminations are forgotten as we amuse ourselves watching Mark scampering about setting out and serving teas.

Mark’s turn on the tea rota had been eagerly awaited.  Mark is not particularly domesticated and having spent one night at his house where the only food in the house was fish fingers and chocolate biscuits we were all intrigued to see what was going to be served up.  Mark had allegedly been up at 7-30am buttering sandwiches and putting cakes in the oven.  I hope he has remembered the jam tarts.  In the end we are all amazed as Mark serves up a veritable feast.

Our reply gets off to the worst possible jam tart (start).  The ginger magician is out first ball and Mark soon follows unable to get to grips with a deteriorating pitch.  Wickets tumble dramatically as I dig in the hope that at least we won’t be humiliated.  As Roary joins me we are 60-5 with only 15 overs left.  Roary suddenly starts to play the innings of his life.  He prompts me to start playing some shots and with some whippet like running between the wickets we start to score at 6 and 7 an over. 

It was too good to last and after a partnership of 67 Roary is run out for 44.  In the end it proves too much for us as we close on 146-7, beaten by sixteen runs.  I finish with another fifty as I reach 57 not out but I am desperately disappointed to lose to the bottom side.  Scrufton must wish they could play us every week as we are the only team they seem capable of  beating.

The mood in the Bog Inn is sombre as we ponder over why the team is always so inconsistent.  I try to cheer team-mates up by pointing out that 57 not out will have done my batting average a power of good.  With my reputation as a ‘team player’ being seriously jeopardised, I point out that I was only joking.  Team-mates are not amused and I am not sure they actually believe me. 

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking:            4 out of 10 - It’s back to those naff pitches again.

Tea Marking:            9 out of 10 - Against all the odds Mark comes up trumps.  The jam tarts were fantastic.

Sunday 19th July

Windy Sigton (away) Idiotson Cup (round two)

The day is damp and dreary and as we arrive to play the match the rain is starting to fall.  We can’t believe cricket is going to take place, however, another round two game is already underway.  We reluctantly start to play our match and under appalling conditions Windy Sigton make 76 in their allotted overs.  Despite an almost complete ambivalence to the competition and a desire to get out of the rain, we manage to win comfortably with Roary and Mark knocking the runs off with an over to spare.  Incredibly we reach another semi-final.  The competition was supposed to run to a cricketing climax that day but Big Den the competition organiser decides to abandon play as the sun comes out on the grounds that conditions were now unfit for play.  Bizarre.

Result:  Won

Monday 20th July

Leerhome (away) Cheatington Cup (semi-final)

It is with nerves jangling that we approach one of Chip Goat’s most important weeks for many a season.  It is twelve years since Chip Goat last reached the final of the Cheatington Cup. 

The Leerhome skipper wins the toss and decides to field first.  This is good news as I definitely wanted to bat first.  We get off to a reasonable start and in the second over team-mates in the pavilion faint in disbelief as I hit my first six of the season or indeed many a season.  My free scoring does not last as I am bowled for 11.  Richard quickly follows for 12 and then it is left to Brian and Mark to rebuild the innings.  Brian makes 25 as Mark is back to his fluent (fluky?) best as he makes 36 not out.  Mark manages to get dropped on numerous occasions but on this evening I was simply glad Leerhome were suffering from a bout of butterfingers.  We close on 104-5.  A steady score but the game is very much in the balance. 

Leerhome start with all guns blazing.  Fiery is surprisingly off line as he concedes some early boundaries.  I wonder whether to take Fiery off but suddenly he rediscovers a mean streak and the runs dry up.  Max is magnificent at the other end as wickets soon start to fall.  Both bowlers take four wickets apiece as Leerhome capitulate to 78 all out.  With whoops of delight we leave the field not quite believing we have made it to a final again.  Joy is tinged with alarm as I realise that if we win the cup I will have to buy all my team-mates a drink and the moths in my wallet might not be able to cope with this strain.

Result:  Won

Pitch Marking:             5 out of 10 - A better wicket than on our last visit to Cheatington.  At least tonight you could distinguish the pitch from the rest of the outfield.

Saturday 25th July

Windy Sigton (away)

Windy Sigton remain table-toppers having lost only two games all season.  We will have our work cut out to give them a good match.  Windy Sigton are a very cohesive side.  They draw their team predominantly from the surrounding farming community and the family links are strong.  This season they have shown real character, strength and team spirit and I suspect they will take some stopping from winning the league.

On the eve of the match player shortage looms its head again for Chip Goat.  Brian and Mike do their ‘I’m too busy’ routine whilst other players are away on holiday.  Frank is away on scouting duties but nobly agrees to travel back to play.  Having witnessed his fielding display later in the day, we all wished he had sent one of his young scouts instead.  We get eleven players with a young twelve year old (Robin) making his Chip Goat debut.  I shall call him ‘Youth’ as Mark spent the entire afternoon calling him that.

Windy Sigton’s ground is literally a field adapted only slightly for cricket.  It is very exposed and even when we are experiencing heatwave conditions,  it is always blowing a gale up there.  The sheep seem to like it but visiting cricketers seldom do.  All the excuses for not playing come out before an away game at Windy Sigton.  This season there are no new excuses left as Brian has used them all up so reluctant cricketers are forced to turn out. 

I lose the toss and they decide to put us into bat.  Richard and myself put on a useful opening partnership.  The ginger magician explodes short of another fifty, caught on the boundary for 44.  I make 38 but our efforts are eclipsed by Mark who makes a storming 50 not out as he farms the bowling well towards the close of the innings.  Wickets fall tamely at the other end as they usually do and we finish on 164-9.  A very commendable effort in view of some tight bowling and some spirited fielding.

Windy Sigton’s reply is slow but steady.  Roary bowls magnificently but with no luck whatsoever.  Fiery bowls at the other end but without his usual accuracy.  I know he is carrying an injury and I am anxious to save him for the Cheatington Cup final the following day.  Fiery is, however, having none of it and is determined to carry on.  To take him off at this stage would result in an unholy row and would surely damage morale ahead of Sunday’s final.

The openers had posted 50 without loss in the first twenty overs and just when I was starting to get desperate, Fiery takes a wicket as I hang on to a steepling catch that had snow on when it came down.  Mark suggested that I should have left it to the ‘Youth’ to catch it as he was stood shaking near me at square leg.  I think not.  After the fall of that wicket the run rate starts to increase.  I bring Max on to replace Fiery and the wickets start to fall.  The game swings one way and then the other as the game hurtles towards a bad tempered conclusion.

The Windy Sigton umpire turns down a couple of blatant LBW decisions and Max mysteriously starts to ball no-balls.  In retaliation the Chip Goat umpire gives one LBW followed quickly by another which allegedly came of the player’s bat first.  The Windy Sigton umpire tries to overrule the decision from square leg and the whole game threatened to degenerate into a mass brawl and utter confusion.  I try to keep everybody calm, although I am starting to get wound up by some of the decisions as well.  There is clearly a lot at stake for Windy Sigton, although I am very pleased with the way Chip Goat are making a real fight of it.

In the end Windy Sigton squeeze home in the last over by two wickets to keep their title challenge well on course.  It was all too much for Roary who had bowled his socks off and had deserved much better than his four wickets.  As we returned to the pavilion at the end of the game, Roary decides to stage a one man protest on the square.  I am not sure whether he was waiting for a second innings or for some divine intervention.  Eventually the temptation of needing an after match beer became too great and he was forced into getting changed.  What the ‘Youth’ made of his introduction to village cricket I don’t know.

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking            7 out of 10 - A real surprise.  It’s normally a horror track at Windy Sigton facing bowlers fully able to exploit it.  Not so today in this high scoring affair.

Tea Marking            7 out of 10.

Sunday 26th July

Kilmore (away) Cheatington Cup (final)

After the disappointing drama of the Windy Sigton game, I hoped luck would turn our way for the Cheatington Cup final.   I prepared for the final in the worst possible way by deciding to have a Saturday night out drinking with Mark.  After copious amounts of alcohol we return to Mark’s house for fish fingers, eggs and lumps of cooking chocolate as we seek further entertainment in the form of the test highlights Mark was supposed to have videoed.  On discovering that in fact Mark had taped a documentary about the history of the post box instead, we realise that there is no other alternative but to rifle through Mark’s video archive for more cricket action.  After getting through footage of England’s tour to the Windies in 1980, we raise the stakes by watching the wonderful Dad’s Army episode ‘The Test’.  We try to compare Chip Goat cricketers to Dad’s Army characters.  I own up to a similarity to Captain Mannering, Mark could be Sergeant Wilson and Roger had to be Private Godfrey.  Roger is the only cricketer I know who has to relieve himself at least twice during a fielding session sometimes more on a cold day.  We get little further as we both fall into a deep state of unconsciousness.

I wake with a thick head and am quite alarmed to see Mark has started the day by drinking more beer.  He claims this is the best way to clear his head and settle his pre cup final nerves.  I have my doubts.   I warn him to take it steady and depart to make my preparations for the cup final.

Our cup final opponents are Kilmore, who have already beaten us twice this season.  They rely heavily on some key individuals, but unfortunately they always seem to perform well against us.

Our pre-match practice was halted when it was noticed a hedgehog had ensnared itself in the practice net.  It was in a bad way and a knife was needed to cut it free.  To assist I went to get my wicket-keeping gloves so I could lift the beastie up to allow it to be released.  It was at this point I discovered to my horror I had left one of my wicket-keeping gloves in the Windy Sigton pavilion.  I had visions of keeper wicket with one hand, when Cheatington come to the rescue and loan me their gloves for the day.

By this time the hedgepig had been freed and was scuttling away across the field.  Mike resisted his hunting instincts to blow its head off as it ran off behind a bush.

Back to cricketing matters.  I win the toss and decide to bat.  In a quaint village cup tradition the number of overs are agreed by the captains.  We agree on 32 overs.  It’s a shame there was not sufficient time for 100 overs as this might allow me enough time to score my first century.  I am sure it would still be tight though as I would have to abandon the forward defensive shot for the last few overs. 

Into the game and Chip Goat make a useful start before Richard is out with the score on 30.  Brian comes in next and he is soon bowled aiming a slog into the next field.  We are now starting to struggle and at this point I got what I feared most, a Cheatington umpiring disaster.  I lunge forward to a ball that it going down the legside and to my amazement the Cheatington umpire raises the finger of death.  I leave the wicket slowly giving the umpire an icy stare.  I made 21 which was my best score at Cheatington this season - not much of an achievement though.

Mark soon follows, his judgement clouded by an alcoholic haze.  Roary recovers the situation slightly with a bright and breezy 25, although we are still well short of a decent score when George batting at number 9 joins Fiery.  In a innings reminiscent of his marvellous knock at Stuffed Plaice ten years before, George hits some mighty blows.  If there had been a greenhouse on the boundary edge I am sure he would have hit that too.  We close on 140-7 with George finishing top scorer with 28 not out.  A reasonable score but plenty of hard work still ahead.

At tea Fiery announces he has pulled a muscle and would struggle to bowl.

I am devastated, I have already lost the services of Max, our ‘Cheatington Cup’ specialist to a golfing holiday in Ireland.  Our bowling resources are going to be stretched.  I open with Mike and Roary and they both bowl really well for twelve overs.  Unfortunately then things start to go wrong as we drop two simple catches and the bowling starts to become wayward.  In addition to not being able to bowl, Fiery has no mobility in the field.  He might as well have sat in a chair at point in the field as the ball kept flying past him.  If it hadn’t been so tragic I am sure it would have looked very funny.  I rotate the bowlers in desperation.  I bring on Mark, Roger, George and Roary from the alternative end but we hurtle to defeat in double quick time.  We take only one wicket as the fielding gets worse and worse.  Typically the winning runs are hit as Brian falls over and the ball trickles over the boundary edge.  An inept performance.

The Cheatington Cup is duly presented to Kilmore.  We played very badly on the day and deserved nothing.  We did, however, get a memorial shield presented to the runners-up to go on display in the Bog Inn.  A very disappointed team go to the pub to cry into their beer.  The shield proves very useful to carry drinks from the bar on.  I depart quickly as I found the Kilmore gloating depressing.

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking:            7 out of 10 - Cheatington produce a good wicket for the final.  During the aftermatch recriminations we can’t blame the pitch.

Tea Marking:            9 out of 10 - We could blame the tea for our defeat.  A fantastic tea as cricketers perhaps choose an unfortunate moment to make pigs of themselves rather than staying lean and fit for the second innings.

Losing the Cheatington Cup final was a real disappointment.  Our league form towards the end of July has also been poor. We still have a chance of cup success in other competitions and we can still improve our league position, although morale is low.  The weather in July was only marginally better than June and I think the sight of the sun and some dry wickets would lift everybody’s spirits.  The league table at the 25th July shows a healthy lead for Windy Sigton.  It would have looked very different if they had just failed to beat Chip Goat.  Onwards to August.