CHAPTER 2 - EARLY SEASON HOPE (APRIL & MAY)

Saturday 25th April

Great Smeghead            (home)

The start of every new cricket season is always greeted with renewed belief, fresh hope that this is going to be our year.  The season that the form book is turned upside down and that Chip Goat cricket team will take all its stride and become the new league champions.  The problem with hope is that is can quickly evaporate.  How many defeats will it take to destroy this newly found optimism?  Not many for Chip Goat as a first game incompetent defeat will usually trigger some early season recriminations. 

How long before the Captain’s tactics are questioned?  When will team-mates start to mutiny over my batting order and my bowling changes?  Will I survive the mid-season vote of confidence and by that point will I care?  It is vital that we start the season with a win, although team-mates know that I always say that and I don’t think it really motivates them anyway.  It makes me feel better though!

Great Smeghead are one of the few teams that finished below us in the league last year.  Despite this fact, victory cannot be guaranteed as we have often managed to lose to them in the past. We are, however, optimistic after our three months of net practice and surely that must count for something as we set out in pursuit of the championship (well a place in the top half of the table).

Great Smeghead are not a particularly good side, they have a few bits and pieces cricketers and one fine cricketer who beat us almost on his own last year.  They are, however, the sort of side we have to beat if we are going have a decent season.

The side is picked without too much pain, although I might as well have not bothered, the pre-season weather has been typical and having suffered rain, snow, rain and more rain in April,  the game is called off on the previous Thursday evening as the players would have needed wellingtons and waterwings to perform on the rain drenched ground.  Another cricket season starts as a damp squib.  I take some solace that at least we have our first points on the board and that as no other team will have played,  we are currently joint top of the league!

Result: Draw

Saturday 2nd May

Scrufton (away)

Scrufton are relative newcomers to the league and since their inclusion they have gradually improved year on year.  Last year they were joint winners of the league and performed very consistently, that is until they played Chip Goat in the last game of the season.  In a staggering turn up we beat them by nine wickets and denied them the outright championship.  This result is a wonderful demonstration of how inconsistent Chip Goat cricket team can be.  Scrufton are certainly going to be out for revenge and I don’t expect an easy game.  There appear to be no selection problems as I decide to stick with the same side that decided not to risk drowning the previous week.  

Then on the Thursday night before the game disaster strikes,  Brian, Mike and Fiery all declare their unavailability through work commitments.  Feelings of despair and deja vu grip me as we look like starting the new campaign with only eight players.  After numerous frantic phone calls with Kevin and to other possible cricketers we eventually get ten players and Budgie is going to arrive very late to make it eleven.  This was not the start to the season I was looking for.  

Saturday arrives and joy the sun was shining, although this was not to last as the day becomes increasingly colder and showery and one of those days you hope the ball would not be hit hard at you in the field or if it was you would have to feign to slip and unfortunately miss the ball by inches.  This tactic has certainly been employed very effectively by Mark.  

I was heartened when I arrived at the ground to see that Scrufton had been badly hit by injuries and retirements and that their team did not look anything like as strong as last season.  The pitch was wet and very green.  Surprise, surprise Mark was late so I decide  I would bowl first given the chance (not that I had great confidence in my bowlers).  Anyway I lost the toss and they put us into to bat.  As Mark was late I decide to open with myself and newcomer Chris.  Scrufton bowl very well keeping an ideal line and length for the conditions.  Chris was soon bowled and Mark and myself then struggle to exert any dominance over the bowlers.  We were just starting to take one or two singles when I was spectacularly caught one handed in the covers for 6 runs.  A paltry 6 runs in 16 overs.  I was certainly living up to my dour reputation.  My dismissal did however serve to wake up my team-mates in the pavilion who were forced out of the warmth to bat.

Team-mates came and went very quickly as we slumped to 35-5 with half the overs already gone.  Mark was gaining confidence and soon started to play some superb shots.  He initially had useful support from Berkeley and then from Max as we staged a recovery.  At the close of our 40 overs we had made 120 - 7, which under the conditions and bearing in mind the start we had was a very good effort.  Mark made the first 50 of the season scoring a commendable 64, while Max finished with a useful 20 not out, even Roger finished the innings with an outrageous slog over midwicket for 4 runs.  We went into tea very much still in the game.

Tea at Scrufton is an interesting experience.  All the players troop over to the Primary School and sit on tiny chairs in the hall to eat their tea.  After this slightly surreal experience and a fantastic tea, we turn our minds to trying to win the game.  

I have plenty of bowlers at my disposal, but none of them are that consistent and accurate and for these conditions that is definitely what is required.  I start with Mark and Roary.  After a terrible first over Mark bowls well.  Roary is all over the place and Scrufton get off to a flying start.

I decide to bring Max on in place of Roary.  Max is playing in my training shoes as he forgot his cricket boots.  I have my reservations about him being able to stand up never mind bowl  in these conditions, but he bowls well for a few overs and even claims our first wicket thanks to a successful LBW shout.

Mark is bowling well but his exertions from his batting and his 100 a day smoking habit are catching up with up and I am forced to take him off as he is on the point of collapse.  Scrufton start to take charge as the runs come quickly.  I rotate my bowlers with no success, nobody seems capable of bowling an accurate spell as at least once every over the ball seems to disappear to the boundary.  I try nearly all the available bowlers in the team (bar Roger but I thought we were not that desperate) although at one point I was tempted to ask the Scrufton umpire if he wanted to turn his arm over for us.

Scrufton charge towards our score and although Berkeley claims a late wicket with some devious off spin we are well beaten by 8 wickets as the ball is launched into a nearby corn field for the last time.  A humbling defeat, although the mood in the pub afterwards is still upbeat.  It was our first game of the season, although I remain very concerned about our bowling resources.  At least they weren’t blaming me, well not yet anyway.

Scrufton try to cheer us all up in the pub by forcing Chip Goat players to participate in a rather pathetic raffle.   You know one of those raffles where the prizes have a value less than the price of the raffle ticket.  Team-mates struggle to show much enthusiasm at the prospect of winning a bar of chocolate, some soap or one of those pens containing a floating novelty.  Scrufton justify this outrageous raffle on the grounds that they have to pay for the banquet that is about to be served to us once we have purchased a couple of drinks.  The  celebrations really start as it announced that Roger has won the novelty pen.  All that he needs to do now is learn to write.  Players start to celebrate at the food is triumphantly carried forth from the kitchen.  Left-over sandwiches have been resurrected from the tea interval together with pickled onions, pickled eggs and some discoloured salad.  Scrufton really know how to treat their beaten opposition.  I really did enjoy my first cricket match of the season (not).

Result:  Lost   

Pitch Marking: 7 out of 10 - not a bad pitch given the preceding inclement weather.  Can’t blame the pitch for my dreary batting.

Tea Marking:               8 out of 10 - a tasty early season effort.  Chunky sandwiches and plenty of chocolate cake.  Geoff Boycott would never have picked the filling out of these sandwiches.

Monday 4th May 1998

Windy Sigton (home)   

Windy Sigton are a side packed full of seasoned and wily village campaigners.  They are always a difficult side to beat, particularly on their own ground, however, at home we should have a chance if we actually play. 

Further rain onto a ground that already resembles an area of marshland for endangered wildlife species, means our home debut is delayed again.  The game is called off as the ground remains unfit.  This is ironic for two reasons, firstly we had a much stronger team available to play and secondly the bank holiday Monday itself was bathed in glorious sunshine.  This climatic change was too late to save this game and I can only hope we now get underway the following Saturday.  My bank holiday Monday was therefore spent painting the garden fence, hardly an adequate substitute for a game of cricket!

Result:  Draw

Saturday 9th May

Millby (home)

Millby might be considered something of a bogey team to Chip Goat and by this I don’t just mean we have considerable difficulty in beating them (which we do).  I was referring to the unpleasant green stuff that lives up the nose.  Games with Millby are always very competitive and not always pleasant, not least because both Mark and Roary had spells playing for Millby and this tends to charge the atmosphere.  Roary always needs to be muzzled for these games and Millby usually have a number of players also ready for a confrontation.  In last year’s home fixture minor disagreements took place throughout the game, culminating in one of the Millby players scything his stumps down in disgust at a run out decision.  Millby do have some fine cricketers though and we will need to be on the top of our game if we are to have a chance of beating them.  I am not optimistic.

We are saved by the weather again.  A downpour on the Friday evening  means the ground is still unfit for play.  I wonder whether we will play a home fixture this season.  Once again in an absurd twist of climatic conditions, the sun comes out on Saturday and would have provided fantastic conditions for playing cricket. 

Result:  Draw

Saturday 16th May

Thumbleton (home)

Boosted by a near full strength side and the promise of an excellent day’s weather, I am hopeful that we might have a good game of cricket culminating in a first home triumph of the season.  Fiery announces he is available to make his debut for Chip Goat and Mike says he will drag himself away from the office and his pheasants to play.  Farmer Brian makes his first appearance of the summer and announces that I had ‘wintered well’.  I felt a bit like one of his sheep. 

As I arrive at the ground, it is obvious that the field has been very wet.  There are parts of the field where the ground physically moves under you as you walk.  The wicket looks fairly dry on top but as has plenty of give in it.  I suspect it will be slow with very little bounce.  The Geoff Boycott key would have no difficulty going into the pitch, indeed if you pushed to hard it would probably disappear into the wicket. 

A good toss to win and field first I think.  To my complete joy, although I lose the toss again, Thumbleton decide to bat.  I call on Fiery and Mike to open the bowling and in a superb spell of line and length trundling not seen at Chip Goat for many a game we tie Thumbleton down and take some early wickets as well.  The fielding is keen and Dave takes a breathtaking one handed catch on the boundary.  Mike takes three wickets but starts to tire, so I bring Roary on to replace him and he bowls much better than he did in the first game.

At the other end Fiery keeps going and despite not bowling for over a year he finishes with a magnificent 6-51.  He polishes off the tail with a succession of quick wickets as we bowl Thumbleton out in the last of their 40 overs for 115.  The only Thumbleton resistance comes form the opener who carried his bat for a notable fifty, although it has to be said he mastered the shot through the slip area very successfully.  He certainly kept Brian busy at first slip as the ball kept whizzing past his fingertips, through his legs and into his body.

The Fiery temper was only tested once when the umpire was foolish enough to call a wide for a ball that just missed the edge of the bat.  A quick word and he decides to get on with the over rather than poleaxe the umpire.  The next ball and the middle stump was performing Olympic style cartwheels across the outfield as the bemused batsman walks back to the pavilion still deciding whether to play a shot.  I decide it must be my day when I achieve a stumping as the ball bounces of my pads down the legside back onto the stumps.  I try convincing my team-mates this is all part of the wicket-keeping game and it takes great skill and judgement to get your feet in the right place, but despite my convincing argument they just think I am a fluky git.

At tea I mull over the batting order.  I am concerned abut my lack of form, although I console myself with the fact that Mark batted well in the first match.  I decide to stick with our tried and trusted opening partnership.  After three consecutive maidens at the start of the innings I notice team-mates drifting behind the pavilion to watch the paint drying on the wooden exterior.  As even this becomes too boring some even decide to go and wash the tea things up.  Suddenly Mark brings the pavilion to life with an exquisite boundary and Chip Goat are away.  Thumbleton then start to bowl quite poorly and we both play some decent shots.  Team-mates watch in disbelief as I send a scorching drive through the covers (to the short boundary).  We storm pass the fifty Mark and our confidence is gaining.  At this point Mark tries one big shot too many and is caught at midwicket for a valuable 36.  We then start to wobble as Brian is out in the same over (deeply regretting his lack of pre-season practice).

This brings Dave to the wicket and despite Dave’s usual eccentric running between the wickets and insane comments we reach our target with no more alarms.  Dave finishes with 18 not out and I remain unbeaten on 53.  A very pleasant feeling to achieve a fifty so early in the season.  I am overjoyed to win and a happy team decamp to the Bog Inn for a celebratory pint or three.

A very unusual feeling for Chip Goat to win their first home league game.  For once there are no early season recriminations.  There is no need to blame Roger nor the wicket today.  Kevin rather foolishly predicts that Chip Goat could be championship material.  Despite being a very optimistic person I find it very difficult to be that positive!

Result: Won

Pitch Marking:            6 out of 10 - a typical Chip Goat early season pitch.  It was very wet and it didn’t facilitate flashy strokeplay.  At least the bounce was fairly consistent - low.

Tea Marking:            5 out of 10 - Roary blows this early season effort.  Having taken first go on the tea rota, Roary visits Aldi and skimps on the shopping.  Despite lacking quality and quantity, Roary’s tea provides some amusement as he serves up some interesting looking cakes which I am sure Benny Hill could have based a sketch around.

Wednesday 20th May

Geek Boffton (away)  - Jeers Cup (round one)

The Jeers Cup is a 22 overs knockout competition for all the teams in the league.  If I say Chip Goat’s  recent performances in the Jeers Cup can be compared to the performances of Rochdale (sorry Rochdale) in the FA Cup,  you will understand we are talking big underachievement.  Our record is terrible.  Every year we find some new way to lose a first round game. 

Geek Boffton were joint winners of the league last year and our record against them is poor.  We do, however, have our secret weapon (Fiery) who has just joined us from Geek Boffton and the general feeling is that there could be some fireworks.

On a fairly overcast evening I win the toss and decide to field first.  We start late and I fear the light could be poor later but we have a much changed line-up again from Saturday and our batting is weak.  I hope our bowlers can do the business and give our batsmen a bit of a helping hand.

We get off to an amazing start as Fiery takes a wicket with a first ball full toss smashed straight to extra cover.  After about two minutes of laughter and hilarity we get on with the game and Geek Boffton set about their batting with real purpose.  They have a number of very strong hitters and the score quickly mounts.  Fiery takes three wickets but overall we don’t bowl well enough.  Near the end we lose the cricket ball as a Geek Boffton batsman launches one of the biggest sixes I have ever seen into the next but one field.  I achieve an interesting stumping as I throw the wicket down left handed whilst standing back to Roary.  Geek Boffton make 138-5 in their allotted overs which is a formidable score.

In a bid to get off to a flying start, I promote George to open in a ‘pinch hitting’ role.  If the Sri Lankan’s can do it, so can Chip Goat.  To some extent it works as George scores 15 in a few overs, however, nothing else works as we collapse sensationally.  Nobody else achieves double figures as we are tamely bowled out for 61 with over five overs left.  I drop down the order to let some of our hitters in first, but the tactic fails badly and I think we are back to the drawing board before our next cup tie.  I was out for 4 caught on the boundary trying to hit my first six for many a year.

As usual Roger manages to cheer us all up in the pavilion with another comic attempt at batting.  As Roger and Kevin eke out a few last wicket runs, Roger decides to smash a ‘taking the mickey’ donkey dropper over the boundary.  He achieves this magnificently only to discover he has trodden on his wicket making the shot.  I should add we are not talking about just tipping the bail off here, Roger decides to walk straight through middle stump like a herd of elephants stopping only just before he steps on  the bemused wicket-keeper.

The following morning my six years old daughter asked ‘how many runs did Shat Goat get last night’?  I think that just about summed up the evening.  Our fine tradition in the Jeers Cup was however maintained.

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking:            7 out of 10.

Friday 22nd May

Cheatington (away) - Cheatington Cup (round one)

The cup competitions start to come thick and fast as we approach the last week in May.  I always enjoy playing at Cheatington.  I think it must be my perverse sense of humour.  The village is deep into the North Yorkshire moors and the ground itself is a real picturesque village ground.  All the games are played at their ground and this year we have drawn the hosts in round one.   The locals always come out for these cup ties, leaning against a stone wall, almost in line with the wickets at the short boundary of the ground.  These spectators always seem on top of you when you are playing and they generally don’t hold back on their views.  Having personally experienced plenty of ‘tha’s bloody useless lad’ and other such articulate comments, you need to be able to cope with such verbal intimidation without wanting to go and ram a cricket bat down their throats.  Roary is often considered a fairly soft target for a bit of baiting by the crowd.  He usually manages to rise to the occasion with a bit of shouting and swearing.   

On paper I would say we have a good chance of progressing into round two.  I  am, however, very wary of making rash predictions, not least because Chip Goat are so inconsistent but also because Cheatington provide their own umpires for all these cup games and I think the kindest thing I can say is that the umpiring tends to be eccentric.  It’s never a good idea to make an inflammatory comment to the umpires during the game as you know revenge will be exacted on your team in some bizarre circumstances (i.e., short run given, batsman given out obstructing the field as well as some of the more obvious alternatives).  It is also a good idea to make sure the ball does not hit your pads while batting, although even achieving that might not save you from being given out LBW.  In the past there have been some very curious interpretations of cricket’s most controversial rule.  An interesting evening’s entertainment I think.

The conditions are gloomy and on winning the toss I decide to bat first and hope the umpires got out of bed on the right side.  On a wicket that resembles a ploughed field we bat solidly and run well between the wickets without being too convincing.  At the end of our 20 overs we have made 101-7, Brian and Roary made 19 each, Dave made 17, Max 16 not out and I scored 14 before being bowled by a ball that didn’t bounce (well that’s my story).

When Cheatington bat, we bowl very well, they have no answer to Max who takes 5 wickets and Fiery who takes 3 as we restrict them to 71-9 in their allotted overs.  Late in the game and much to my annoyance we concede 4 byes down the legside as I miss the ball and Roger decides to move from long leg to a position that has no known cricketing name but I shall call ‘Roger land’ (roughly about ten paces directly behind the wicket-keeper).  You won’t find ‘Roger land’ in any cricketing textbook so don’t bother to look. It certainly proves that if in doubt nail Roger’s feet to the ground in the correct fielding position and hope the ball simply hits him.  Apart from one ridiculous stumping that was not given out (I can only assume the umpire had fallen asleep) the umpiring was fairly uncontroversial and hopefully no enemies were made for future games.  A good evening’s work as we progress to round two.

Result:  Won  

Pitch Marking:            3 out of 10 - we might as well have played on the outfield.

Saturday 23rd May

Geek Boffton (away)

After our hiding in the Jeers cup we arrive at Geek Boffton in a fairly apprehensive state of mind.  I am sure Geek Boffton will be confident and I hope that could work to our advantage.  I win the toss and decide to bat first on what looks like a goodish wicket. 

Mark and myself bat well without dominating.  Indeed our friend Mr Extras outscores us.  Batting is tricky as Boffton have two lively fast bowlers firing the ball in at a good length and occasionally dropping one in a bit shorter to keep us on our toes. We take the score past 30 and then Mark sees the red mist and is bowled comprehensively.  Our total builds steadily as Roary and Dave bat well for 25 each and I score 15 as we are all out for 153 with a couple of overs not used.  Geek Boffton in their usual confident manner feel they have done enough, however, they have given Chip Goat some needless runs through wides and no-balls and Mr Extras is third top-scorer with 23 runs.  He gets a suitable round of applause. 

After his batting exertions, Roary came in looking for liquid refreshment.  On discovering Mark had drunk his can of Irn Bru, Roary went into the clubhouse to purchase a soft drink.  Mark decides to hide behind the pavilion for fear of incurring Roary’s wrath. On entering the clubhouse Roary encounters the legendary ‘Uncle Tommy’ custodian of the bar and purveyor of fine teas.  He announces that the bar was closed as he was guarding the teas against predators.  Roary’s cries of all ‘all I wanted was a lemonade’ fell on deaf ears as customer care took on a new meaning.

In reply Geek Boffton make a steady start.  Fiery takes a couple of early wickets, although Boffton’s pregnant, incoherent opener scores in his usual quickfire manner and soon they have the advantage.  I introduce Berkeley to the attack and he baffles the fearsome opener with a well flighted delivery.  He is out LBW and departs muttering something like ‘aaargggghhhhhmmmmmrrrgg’.  I suspect he is unhappy with the decision.

Roary returns for a second spell and he rips though the middle order.  He finishes with 4-35 as we bowl Geek Boffton out for 134.  We are ecstatic as the final wicket is taken.  Victory is tainted by the manner in which Geek Boffton take defeat.  Towards the end of their innings Geek Boffton’s fiery opening bowler now with a bat in his hand smashes his stumps down after being given out LBW in a display of bad temper not seen since John McEnroe last graced the centre court at Wimbledon.  It later transpires that this particular batsman bullied my brother Richard out of the cubs when they were at school together - so its seems as if he has grown up a lot in twenty years.  Richard making his first appearance of the season after injury tried to deny this accusation but later admitted it after a few celebratory beers. A stuffing for Geek Boffton and didn’t we celebrate.

Result:  Won

Pitch Marking:            8 out of 10 - a good cricket wicket with some pace and bounce for a change.

Tea Marking:            7 out of 10 - a reasonable tea, although it looked as if the meat pie was filled with something that had come out of a cow’s backside.  All those local farmers must love me.  I thought the tea’s were superbly guarded by Uncle Tommy.  No tea theft here.

Monday 25th May

Hawthorne (home)

On the bank holiday Monday we entertain Hawthorne.  Our confidence is dented when we discover Fiery is missing through a back injury.  I lose the toss and we are invited to field first.  I open the bowling with Roary and Berkeley and they both bowl tightly with no luck whatsoever.  It is only when I introduce Max and Roger into the attack that we take a couple of wickets.

We start to get ourselves into a useful position, only for Hawthorne to bolster their innings with some middle order hitting.  Unfortunately our bowlers seem unable to bowl with their heads and add to that some sloppy fielding, Hawthorne’s score quickly mounts.  As at Geek Boffton Roary returns for a fiery second spell and wraps up the tail to finish with 5-38.  Hawthorne are all out for 163, which on a lively wicket is a very good score I think.

My worst fears are proven as the Hawthorne seamers create havoc as we start our innings. I manage one boundary before a ball rises off a length and smashes into my gloves, bruising my knuckle and moulding my wedding ring into an interesting oval shape.  Next ball it is thank you and goodnight as I edge another lifter to the wicket-keeper.  Mark soon follows caught behind (never one to hang around when the ball might bounce and hurt his pinkie winky fingers).  We are really up against it. 

The ginger magician making his second appearance of the season, departs in a very ‘unmagical’ fashion dragging the ball onto his stumps for 9.  After that it is a procession of wickets.  Brian bats well for 34 and Frank makes a useful 27, but overall we bat poorly against a good bowling attack.  We are eventually bowled out for 117 and the phrase ‘after the Lord Mayor’s show springs to mind as does the phrase ‘a pile of poo’.

We retire to the Bog Inn to lick our wounds.   We have been beaten by a better team.  As we sup our beer and pick at the greasy chips generously supplied by Budgie the landlord we all agree that perhaps we might have to wait another year before we lift the league championship.  Frank is unbelievably cheerful as he probably realises he has just achieved his top score for the season.

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking:            3 out of 10 - a rather lethal wicket.  I don’t know how Hawthorne scored so many runs.

Tea Marking:            7 out of 10.  Good effort from Mrs Kevin.

Saturday 30th May

Swearby (home)

Another damp and dreary day, we must be playing cricket.  Anyway at least the ground is fit to play.  We are back at near full strength and I am keen to get another victory if possible.  As I arrive at the ground I see Swearby look to have a much weakened team, although my comment about liking to see lots of young boys in the opposition side was perhaps unfortunately phrased and caused much hilarity in the pavilion.  Scout master Frank’s chuckling soon stopped when I pointed out he spent most Sundays under canvas with young boys.  In a conversation that was becoming rather oblique Roger commented that he had seen a recent documentary on Sir Badon Powell on the television.  I not quite sure what this had to do with the price of fish, but Frank decides that this is now an opportune moment to go and unpack the tea things.  Roger drifts off into a world of his own as the rest of team discuss tactics.

I am pleased to win the toss and decide to bowl first on a very wet wicket.  We take complete command as Fiery takes 2 wickets and Roary takes another as we are all set to bowl Swearby out cheaply.  Then suddenly the proverbial wheels come off the Chip Goat wagon as we start to bowl badly and field like a bunch of pensioners (which some of us are).  I lose my temper as apathy sets in, annoying Brian in his guise of Mr Chip Goat as he feels I am shouting too much.  I realise I  might be disturbing his slumbering in the field so I decide to resign myself to our fate and keep quiet. 

Swearby indulge in a bout of outrageous slogging which yields an incredible 90 runs in the last 10 overs.  Fiery recovers the situation slightly by taking 2 wickets in his last over and again he is the pick of the bowlers with 4-43 as Swearby finish on 169-8.

I take time to cool off and then Mark and myself set about the task of scoring the runs with real purpose.  We reach 43 without any alarms and then disaster as I chip a silly catch to square leg to a fielder ‘affectionately’ known  to members of the Chip Goat team as the ‘wedded bliss agency’.  I can’t even begin to explain this joke but for those of you familiar with that classic Carry On film ‘Carry on Loving’ I need say no more.  I felt very comfortable batting and for a change I was outscoring Mark as I made 25 in our opening partnership.

What followed was classic Chip Goat for connoisseurs.  We collapse sensationally.  As Mark watches with pained expression from the non-strikers end (he did also have flu and he is a bit of a wimp when it comes to illness) the wickets start to tumble.  Apart from a bold 16 from Roger near the end, the batting was pitiful and how was I regretting my dismissal.  We are bowled out for 126 by one useful bowler who pitched the ball up and another neanderthal bowler who certainly didn’t but we couldn’t take advantage.  Mark is last man out for a magnificent 66.  We lose to a poor side on paper who played that much better than us on the day. 

I was disappointed with the attitude and application of the side, although I suspect I didn’t help matters by losing my temper.  I vow to keep calmer in future and hope team-mates play with more personal pride as well as a sense of fun.  I hate losing to Swearby.

It is a sombre occasion in the Bog Inn.  Swearby are overjoyed to win, however, we certainly handed the game to them on a plate.  Roger enquiries whether anybody else saw the documentary on Sir Badon Powell.

Result:  Lost

Pitch Marking:             6 out of 10 - another wet pitch that didn’t play too bad.

Tea Marking:            8 out of 10 - fine chocolate cake from Mrs Frank.  

At the end of the month Windy Sigton are surprise leaders, although the league seems very open this year.  We are ninth which in comparison with recent years is a useful start.  We have been bottom after the first month before!

After a damp start to the season we have achieved a couple of good wins, although we always seem to lose to the poorer teams.  I am pleased Mark and myself are scoring runs although with the exception of Dave our middle order batting looks pathetically frail at the moment.  Our bowling has been transformed by the arrival of Fiery, although our fielding has been anything but sprightly and at the moment is costing us a lot of runs.

The mood in the pavilion is a bit downbeat after a couple of defeats and we certainly need to be a bit more consistent in our performances.  June could make or break our season as many of the cup competitions gather pace and the league table starts to take shape.  My main consolation at this stage of the season is that at least we have not experienced major problems getting eleven players on the field.  That had certainly been my main worry in April.