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News of the 'Gate We at the 'Gate have discovered Langbaurgh Rejects Chris Agar and Paul Hutchinson in the far-flung Far East and still playing the great game, allegedly, and, even more amazingly, for the same side! If you know of any Langbaurgh Rejects currently playing for other clubs with a presence on the Web let us know via the 'Contacts' page and we can all have a laugh. Check out the 'Langbaurgh Rejects' section on the Links page for details.
As the endless round of Langbaurgh League transfer speculation passes us by for another season we are looking to cast our net a little wider. If you live somewhere between Teesside, York and Northallerton and feel like a change of clubs, want to resurrect a cricket career, are looking for first team cricket or simply want to waste your summer weekends then look no further! The 'Gate is the club for you. For anyone with 'women and children' considerations, the club is situated in scenic surroundings (see pictures) a mere cows field away from the local child-friendly pub so you can keep the little darlings safely outside for hours while you enjoy a game and a nice, relaxing bevy afterwards. If you've already had a look round the site you probably have a good idea of what we are like as a club. If after that you still feel you would like to join our ranks you can contact us in three ways:
Literally minutes of amusement to be had by 'Warping' the facial features of our cricketing heroes. Check out the 'WARP' page for details.
Net Sessions Begin in Earnest. The warm-up to the new season has begun with net sessions at MacMillan College in Middlesbrough. The nets are between 4 and 5pm every Sunday between now and the start of the season. Anyone interested should simply attend the sessions at the appointed time.
By Our Man in the Bar A
good turnout at the first Chop Gate AGM of the new Millennium proved a
huge disappointment for lovers of controversy and village cricket
‘politics’. The absence
of two of the most outspoken members in the club - Neil Stockton
(Valentine’s duties) and Kevin Brown (dart’s match) – was one of
the main factors behind an evening that went out with a whimper and much
nodding of agreement instead of the usual digruntlement and threats to
never play for the club again. To
make matters worse, there was a disappointing absence of Langbaurgh
transfer talk not least in terms of the new players who many of us had
hoped might join the club this year. Mick Tait’s sons spring to mind
for instance – but they’re not interested apparently. No doubt
we’ll come across them playing for the likes of Ingleby Greenhow and
Thimbleby later in the season. Winter news to compare with last year’s revelation that Dave Hill had inexplicably dug a 6ft by 10ft crater in the middle of Chop Gate’s square was also conspicuous by its absence. Perhaps the most amusing story related to Glen Shinwell. Apparently he’s leading a consortium to get Swainby cricket club going again. Not too many will be holding their breath over that then. Swainby’s continued absence from the league has attracted the attention of Skelton Castle, a former Cleveland League side looking for a new set of teams to play. Apparently they originally resigned from their league to try and get in the NYSD but without success. Skelton’s application to join the Langbaurgh League was one of the main items on the AGM agenda. The discussion over the issue was dragged out to say the least but after about 45 minutes of one-sided debate only Richard Holmes raised his hand for Skelton’s inclusion. The fact that Holmes jr once scored a century there probably had something to do with it. With this in mind, it’s unlikely that Skelton would be good enough for the Langbaurgh anyway. The subject of the club’s stolen Portaloo also received a good 20 minutes of discussion. For those unfamiliar with the story, Chop Gate’s prize asset (which had been purchased from an auction two years ago) was impounded by the Police last year after someone passing the ground in the car recognised the Portaloo as one stolen from a Hull building site three years ago. How unlucky is that? The ladies can breathe a sigh of relief, however. Mark Burgess said he knew someone who would hire us one for £25 a season. This particular AGM was also unique for the fact that when the various officers were elected there was absolutely no head to head votes. This saw John Holmes retain the captaincy, Frank Rose continue as secretary, Max Cook as treasurer, Alec Cook as chairman and Mark Burgess as president. Nobody was nominated to stand against them. There was to be only one new member of the Chop Gate hierarchy. Nobody knew if last year’s vice-captaincy incumbent Neil Stockton would want to continue in the job so Dave Austin was voted in. Stockton did, however, manage to cling on to his duty as tea-rota man. The thinking behind those who voted for Austin was probably that he would not be able to moan so much about the way the team is handled on the pitch if he has some hand in the decision-making himself. Perhaps he and John Holmes can surprise us by putting their differences to one side and channeling their efforts into getting better results on the pitch. That’s rather unlikely though. The subject of discipline reared its ugly head later in the meeting. That rather unsavoury incident between Stockton and John Morton on the last day of the season received an airing as an example of unacceptable behaviour. A ridiculous debate ensued with the townies blaming Morton and the villagers Stockton. Eventually it was agreed that the latter’s occasional moment of indiscipline was outweighed by his contribution to the team and general will to win. And the fact that we wouldn’t win any games at all if he or the club’s other main purveyor of foul language and opposition-baiting, Mick Tait, didn’t play. Nobody could agree on punishment for shows of ill-temper in general so everybody had to accept the fact that breaches of discipline would continue to be dealt with on an ad hoc basis i.e. do bugger all about them. Amongst
the other issues discussed at some length was the subject of the number
of cups we play in. This annual discussion ended predictably with the
agreement that we should play in them all on the basis that the more
two-bit competitions we enter, the more likely we are to win some
silverware. More
interesting was the revelation that Chop Gate is to organise its own
village cup from this summer. This invitation-only competition could be
a great opportunity to manipulate things in our own favour for a change.
Suggestions ranged from inviting under-12s teams only to compete in the
competition with our senior team to making the opposition right and left
handers bat left and right handedly respectively. Chop Gate of course
would be exempt from this proposed rule. In the end, it was decided that
it would be an 8-team competition with the semi-finals and final to be
played on the hallowed turf of Chop Gate CC. The decision on who to
invite was left with a high-powered delegation of Chop Gate
‘mandarins’ such as Brian, Ken and Alec Cook. Can’t wait for the
away tie at Spouthouse. The
countdown has already begun to next year’s AGM. You never know,
controversy could be back with a vengeance.
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